Back in my day...

So the world of pregnancy continues to amaze and terrify me in equal measure.

From cabbage leaves on lactating nipples to projectile vomiting newborns, What the actual f*ck have I got myself into?!

Also made the mistake of watching One Born Every Minute... Ladies, on behalf of all mankind, I salute you.

How the hell you push, what is essentially a marrow with arms and legs out of your vagisal is amazing. Chaps we have a lot to be grateful for! The thought of squeezing anything out of any of my intimate man holes is not something I ever want to experience!

I've also become aware this week that Peppa twatting Pig is not the only kids TV program that will be darkening my TV screen in the near future. Thanks to daddynessblog.wordpress.com/ I've also discovered the joy that is the Go Jetters. If you haven't read his article yet, do it. It's bloody hilarious.

Why can't they actually make good TV Programs anymore?!
Maybe I'm looking back through rose tinted glasses but back in the day (and by day I mean the eighties) there were all manner of brilliant cartoons. Anything from Superted to Fragile Rock.
I particularly enjoyed Fragile Rock as the theme tune could be made rude really easily! 😀
Thomas The Tank Engine was another classic. Not the shit new version but the proper one with the very un PC Fat Controller! Life was good for a kid back then.

And then on 31 March 1997, a day that is forever scorched into my very soul, all of children's TV turned to what can only be described as complete minge. "What are you talking about?" I hear you shout at your computer screens. What could be so bad that the only word to describe it is minge?
I will tell you ladies and gentleman. One word...

TELETUBBIES

The only program ever to be aired where the main characters were essentially off their tits on acid. They are the single reason why a whole generation of children cannot speak properly! I heard through the grapevine that it's actually making a comeback! Please god NOOOOO!

Apologies I digress. My point is this. If your reading this Mr head of childrens TV, stop exposing our kids to programs that are absolute nonsense. Children have a brain. Make them use it! They should be watching programs that inspire them to use their imagination, to invent new characters in the playground at school or to develop exciting new worlds where amazing adventures can happen. Not watching some dick in a fat suit rolling around shouting "ah oh!"
Who knows? Their imaginative writing might even improve. Shock Horror!

Anyway, rant over. I'm off to watch Mr tumble.